How to solve a problem like Bitch Face?

Today I found out that it's more than likely that my family thinks I'm a bitch. None of them have said or would ever say this to me because they're really nice people but the fact that they probably think it isn't really surprising. I have a serious case of Bitch Face, it's not even resting Bitch Face I just have the face of a bitch. This is something I've dealt with before people take one look at my face, even when I'm smiling and happy, and assume I'm horrible or an enraged monster. I'm neither of those things it's just the way my face is.

Now you would think that because my family knows me they would know that I'm not a bitch BUT here's the thing on top of having a severe case of Bitch Face  I'm incredibly socially awkward, not in an adorkable Jess from New Girl aww isn't she cute kind of way but in an actual cannot cope with social situations so I come off as mean and desperate for attention. Which isn't the case. 

These things separately are difficult to deal with but when added together every social situation becomes a nightmare. To the point where I'd rather stay at home by myself then go and turn into someone I don't know and don't like very much.

When I'm with my friends it's a totally different story but around my family I'm not very nice and try as I might I only ever seem to make it worse. I can't do right for doing wrong. 

Take last night for example, last night me, my mum and step-dad went over to my Uncle's for a curry and a catch up with him and his family. And I came off terribly,  to them I must have looked rude and disrespectful and actually just really nasty. I knew it too, every time I said something I knew it was the wrong thing and I felt awful. I couldn't wait to get out of there because I genuinely had no idea what I was gonna say or do next.

I can't even tell you why this is a problem for me. They're really nice people but I'm not when I'm around them. There's no excuse really other then I panic, I get scared, I overthink, I try too hard and it all goes terribly wrong. It really doesn't help that I look mean and am just saying all the wrong things. 

For the last couple of years I have felt like a bit of a blacksheep in my family because I'm really different from everyone but actually it's because I can't imagine that they think I'm a nice person and I really don't blame them for it. The worst thing is it's got to a point where I don't think there's much I can do about it. But I'm going to try... Fingers crossed.

The most worrying thing is if that's how I come across around family how badly must I be coming across to people who aren't related to me? What a terrifying thought!

If anyone else struggles or has struggled with this kind of thing and has any tips on how to cope let me know on twitter, by commenting below or dropping me an email at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. Also check out my instagram, facebook, BlogLovin & pinterest. 

Sorry this post has been a bit on the depressing side. Have a wonderful week and I'll be back soon and back to normal. 

Until then...

Love love love 

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